What is wrong with me?

a good grounding exercise is to hold a cube of ice in your hand for about 30 seconds to a minute. I did this last night and I didn't feel like hurting myself anymore. It brings me back to the present moment. Another thing, buy some Chamomile tea and drink it. It is very calming. Also, you could go see a grief councelor for free if you go to a hospital and just ask. Good luck! God bless!